Fun With Poetry OR How I Spent My Valentine's Day

For those unaware, I am a student. One of the classes I am taking is a beginning poetry class. Today, in honor of Valentine's Day, the teacher decided to show us what I believe to be one of the worst seduction tools in history. Here is a poem called "To His Coy Mistress" by the poet Andrew Marvell.

       Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, lady, were no crime.
We would sit down and think which way
To walk, and pass our long love's day;
Thou by the Indian Ganges' side
Shouldst rubies find; I by the tide
Of Humber would complain. I would
Love you ten years before the Flood;
And you should, if you please, refuse
Till the conversion of the Jews.
My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires, and more slow.
An hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze;
Two hundred to adore each breast,
But thirty thousand to the rest;
An age at least to every part,
And the last age should show your heart.
For, lady, you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate.
        But at my back I always hear
Time's winged chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.
Thy beauty shall no more be found,
Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound
My echoing song; then worms shall try
That long preserv'd virginity,
And your quaint honour turn to dust,
And into ashes all my lust.
The grave's a fine and private place,
But none I think do there embrace.

       Now therefore, while the youthful hue
Sits on thy skin like morning dew,
And while thy willing soul transpires
At every pore with instant fires,
Now let us sport us while we may;
And now, like am'rous birds of prey,
Rather at once our time devour,
Than languish in his slow-chapp'd power.
Let us roll all our strength, and all
Our sweetness, up into one ball;
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life.
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run.

Yeah...definitely not what I would want my lover reading to me if he wants into the pants. After a long, torturous session of analyzing the poem, the assignment was to write another version. I chose to go with the female perspective. Here's my response to the piece: 

I swear I've told you a thousand times,

we could have eternity and still

I would not succumb to your charms.

You think pretty poetry will win me?

Think again. Your love will not put bread on my table

nor feed the babes that such love brings.

A thousand nos will not become a yes.

And if I must then so I shall

take my honor to my grave.

I do not love thee, but then you swear

I've led you as a dog on a leash.

I say again, I do not love thee.

Take thy poems and leave me be.

 

Is it any wonder that I'm single on Valentine's Day, as always? Or that I've spent the rest of the day jamming out to '90's pop? Nah, I don't think so. Just thought I'd share that awesomeness with you all.